Western Maryland to be Placed on the Auction Block

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In a dramatic announcement late on Monday, Maryland State Comptroller, Peter Franchot, revealed that state officials were in high-level talks with representatives of both Pennsylvania and West Virginia to ascertain the possibility of the interest of either states purchasing Garrett , Allegany, and Washington counties, which comprise Maryland’s western panhandle.

Like many other states, Maryland is facing a fiscal crisis that threatens the funding for many critical projects, such as infrastructure and education. During the press conference at the Rocky Gap Casino near Flintstone, Maryland, Franchot admitted that this was a drastic solution, but one that was necessary to maintain the solvency of citizen services.

“There are only two ways to patch a hole in any budget,” said Franchot to the stunned crowd of senior citizens plugging their social security benefits into slot machines. “One is to cut expenses and the second is to increase revenues. The sale of Western Maryland would do both, simultaneously. In fact, the cost savings from not having to snowplow, alone, makes this deal a no-brainer.”

News of the sale was met with shock by residents of Western Maryland. Governor Larry Hogan said, in a statement, that he was sympathetic to the inconvenience that this would cause some people and businesses, but that there were no other viable options.

“This has quietly been in the works for quite awhile. This idea predates my administration by at least fifteen years,” said Hogan. “Frankly, Maryland has never embraced their mountain region, anyway. Deep Creek? We’re ocean and bay people, not lake people. Plus, the folks there don’t eat crabs, they don’t panic when it snows, and they root for the Pittsburgh Steelers. They are not really Marylanders at heart. I just think it’s best that we go our separate ways and they go with another state that understands their mountain ways.”

While negotiations are in the early stages, state officials hope to have a final deal on the table by early fall. Franchot said that although the three counties are a package deal, they would consider breaking them up if it was found that they were of more value when sold separately. Once a deal is brokered, it must be approved by the Board of Public Works, which wields all authority over state property transfers.

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Category: State of Maryland

About the Author ()

Hi, I'm Laura Ritz and the Intern here at The Crabwrapper. I hear that Maryland apologized for that whole slavery thing--so I have to ask how the hell they can make me bust my ass and not pay me a cent? Oh, that's right, it is for the "experience." Well, to make ends meet, you can always catch up with me at McDoogals in the Dena!

Comments (94)

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  1. Ramon Rozas III says:

    Of course, you spelled “Allegany” wrong :)

  2. Sandi Lease says:

    Allegany County is the proper way to spell it in Maryland. Allegheny is how Pennsylvania spells it.

  3. James says:

    Hardy, har, har!!!

  4. Coleton says:

    Maybe Western Maryland would actually like Maryland if we were treated as Maryalnders. UMBC would rather accept out of state students to make more money rather than true Maryland residents…. why shouldn’t we favor other close states instead?

  5. Lynn says:

    Unbelievable! Who is this sorry excuse of a governor? I recall Governor Shaffer referring to the Eastern Shore of Maryland as the outhouse of the state. He received harsh criticism from the residents of the Eastern Shore. I WAS proud to say that I am a Marylander – Western Marylander at that. I eat crabs, root for the Steelers, and love Deep Creek Lake, the bay and the ocean. I live halfway across the country now and am still a Marylander at heart. Your comments disgust me Governor Hogan! Thank goodness my tax dollars are not paying your salary!

  6. lisa says:

    I’d like to tell the author that I think she is a “douche bag”!

  7. Nickole says:

    Maybe GC should stop putting money into the wisp mountain resort kayaking bs and put it towards something useful such as schools

    • Tim Gift says:

      And also spread out the efforts on clearing the roads to the whole rest of the county besides just around the lake area. I drive by the lake everyday. All the roads can be crappy but as soon as you hit the lake they are clear and almost spotless. Could really care less than if they drained the lake and turned into a parking lot.

    • Angela says:

      You might want to get your facts straight. GC gives NOTHING to WISP Resort! ASCI (Whietwater Course) is solely owned and operated by the county. The land it sits on was donated to the County by WISP Resort.

  8. mark lebar says:

    Interestingly, google maryland auctioning off western maryland and you get nada zip zero nil nothing zero. Where and why would you write such utter drivel and then nuts want to believe your utter nonesense

  9. mark lebar says:

    and in what century have you seen states buy other pieces of states? Really, can’t think of one other than VA taking back its part of the District of Columbia. I am sure at state formations there might have been land swaps but please elucidate another state that bought a piece of another state

    • Brent Nelson says:

      C’mon folks…this is satire…let’s just chuckle.

      • joanie johnston says:

        C’mon… This is like an SNL skit, and we’re supposed to be laughing.

        Funny thing, though: It’s NOT that the eastern shore wants to sell “us”, as much as I’ve heard PLENTY of talk about seceding and becoming our own state. (As in Virginia and West Virginia) First improvement? It’s bound to be REDUCED TAXES!

    • Steve Zuiderveen says:

      Look up the Toledo War on Wikipedia

  10. Jack Elliott says:

    As a native Frostburger and a fan of satire I applaud your article. I was annexed by Pennsylvania many years ago but still appreciate a good Crabwrapper!

  11. Bronson Blume says:

    I’m not a real Marylander? Excuse me while I go throw my fresh crabs and all my terps jerseys away. Oh man and that cabinet full of old bay has to go too. I don’t think YOU’RE A REAL MARYLANDER because you don’t appreciate the whole state. – Might I add that Maryland stands for Miniature Amercia. Well, it’s not going to if this happens. Go pound sand, Hogan.

  12. brian glisan says:

    holy fucking christ, the stupidity.

  13. Tim Gift says:

    A lot of up here in Garrett county are very ashamed to be associated with Maryland. I would dance with joy to be separated from this state. WV here we come, (hopefully)

  14. Larry says:

    Why not combin both West Virginia and Maryland into one state. That way Maryland can become a mountain state and West Virginia would have a port on the ocean to ship coal from.

    • Robin Farthing says:

      If we combine states, our new name could be Virgin Mary??? Sorry. I read your comment and thought it was a great idea. It’s hard to find any humor in any of this.

      • JoAnna Fleek says:

        This site is so stirred up emotionally then I burst out in laughter at your comment. Thanks for the relief! I’d love to move back to West Virginia! Happy to have been born and raised there.

  15. Terry L. Miller says:

    This is so bad, what about those who hold State jobs? The ripple effects will be wide spread.

  16. Jenna says:

    First of all I’m a die heart Baltimore Raven’s fan, I eat crabs all summer, and my family has lived in Maryland for generations! I’m insulted and appalled by the governor’s comments on the people of Western Maryland. Wonder if he thought that way when he was campaigning and shaking our hands asking for votes!! I have lived in Allegany county for 30 years and have always loved the mountains. For him to say such a down right ignorant and just stupid comments is the reason Maryland is in such a devastating state. I am now a self proclaimed Appalachian American!! Hogan can kiss my Non Marylander ASS!!

  17. Mark C. says:

    I realize this is just satire, but there is an element of truth to humor. Many of us would love to see this area go to WV. Count me among their ranks. I’m sick of this state. Regulations on business, environment, zoning, hunting and fishing laws, etc have spiraled out of control.

  18. taray says:

    I now live in western Maryland and feel as though this part of the state would be better suited as eastern WV or southern PA . The rural communities in this area are often overlooked and seem irrelevant by a state that is largely governed by laws targeted at its urban population

  19. Buckzilla says:

    Long has the Leftist policies of Maryland Leaders failed Western Maryland. I once had Maryland pride only to be disappointed time and time again as they forsake the people of the western panhandle. That is why I have never returned to my home city of Cumberland. I feared the state would be lost forever in a labyrinth of socialism and tyranny. At least now there is some hope if a more financially responsible state takes control of that land maybe things will improve there. If this land/money exchange happens, it will be looked upon for centuries as a failure of the democrat Agenda and rightfully so.

  20. Enjoyed your article Laura. For years folks in Western MD have been talking about secession. They’d be happy to not be a part of “Eastern Maryland”. At this point though I think the people might resist being annexed by either PA or WV because they both have fracking. On the other hand the elected officials and Chambers of Commerce would probably embrace the idea….at this point leaning toward WV brcause PA is tightening their fracking regulations. WV seceded from the Confederacy, why not have a state of WM? Frostburg U could then become WMU. In relation to your slavery comment, you should visit the Antietam Battlefield in Washington Co., Western Maryland. 5 days after the battle Pres. Lincoln put into motion the Emancipation Proclamation, which started the process of freeing the slaves. You might want to have a talk with your boss after that.

  21. Rob M says:

    Honestly people, they are talking about selling you to another state. Why are you worried about how Allegany is spelled. People with children in school should be the most worried if you are sold to WV. WV ranks near the bottom of quality school systems in the country. MD consistently ranks at number one or at least in the top five. Get real! Maybe you should have thought about this subject BEFORE you voted in your Republican governor. This is why I left MD 30 years ago. The party’s over. Turn the lights out when you’re done!!

  22. Dan says:

    I hope that people don’t read this and confuse “satire” for “humor.” Even the “about the author” section borders on not that funny. Sorry!

    • Mark C. says:

      satire – the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

  23. Jeff B says:

    Is this really legit? Seems more like that line from the song, It’s Getting Hot In Here. “I gotta pole in the basement, oh I’m just kidding like Jason, unless your gonna do it.” If this is true, it is interesting this would get floated out to see if they could get takers. I love Western Maryland, however, from a business standpoint, who in their right mind would pay money to take an area that is a so called money drain for the rest of the State of Maryland? That would be like your stock broker saying, Hey I have an investment for you that historically is a loser for our firm and the forecast is that it will continue to lose, now how many shares would you like to buy? I wonder if there is minimum bid? What would be in it for WV or PA?

  24. Jasper Townsend says:

    I live in Western Maryland!! I would gladly VOTE for WVA to buy us!! I live 15 minutes away from the State line to WVA in 2 different directions…and an hour crossing the interstate 68. I wish they wouuld do this..at least WVA has a greater “love” for the 2nd Ammendment than MD does !!! Come on WVA… buy us!! I’ll still drive to Ocean City and buy my blue crabs…and get my Thrasher fries!!

  25. Deana says:

    Anything to screw us out of everything. Western maryland Was a beautiful place to. But maybe they should sell it to DC with all the dang drugs around here now days.

  26. Mandy M says:

    Does anyone know if this is actually TRUE??????????

  27. Julie says:

    Wow. They do know a very large portion of Western MD roots for the Ravens and Orioles. And we pretty much all eat crabs. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve always had MD pride, and to hear that I’m not considered a true “Marylander at heart” is just ridiculous. I just hope this article is not true.

  28. VA Rules says:

    Wow it’s amazing how the intelligence level drops the further West in Maryland you go that this many folks don’t realize this is SATIRE.

    That being said, the only things the State of Maryland is good for is blue crab and UMD.

  29. Diane says:

    LOL! The only thing funnier then this story is the amount of people who actually think the story is real!! It’s a joke people lighten up and have a lil fun!!

  30. Well Gov. Larry Hogan, you said it yourself, without western Md you dont win the election. Then it was you were going to make things right, unite the state into one Maryland. Guess you turned out to be a true politician and liar. Good luck with the next election with only the democratic vote. We get no representation, respect or even acknowledgement from the rest of the state anyway so please, by all means let us the hell out of this tax hole. God knows, we sure pay enough in taxes with little to no return. We bought into your rhetoric, but there was talk of western Md forming its own state before, its not like we’re gonna fight to stay here in what’s become the Anti-Freedom State.

  31. Mark says:

    Better idea IMHO include PG County & possibly Montgomery as part of a new DC state. The reduction in expenditures would probably balance the budget.. Just a casual observation

  32. Sharkbait789 says:

    Larry hogans quote about maryland never really embracing the mountain side. Then tell all the goddamn flat landers and city idiots to stay the hell out. Nobody wants them up there anyways. They cause nothing but trouble. This article infuriates me. As does the worthless governor we have.

  33. Rusty Shillingburg says:

    This is the most fucked up thing I have ever seen. You are going to sell my house my land that I purchased with my money and payed taxes on for years to a different state. If I wanted to live in WVA I would have moved there . I think the best thing to do is to ship Peter Franchot and Larry Hogan over there(WVA) along with any other STUPID FUCKING STATE OFFICIALS THAT ARE FOR THIS.All Maryland state officials want to do is line their pockets with are hard earned money.

  34. Brad says:

    You’re point is right on, Mark. W.MD’s snow removal is not breaking MD’s bank. It’s their far reaching socialist policies draining the treasury. How about make MD once again appealing to corporations to return and do business instead of driving them away with high taxes and imposing regulations as one solution. I live in W’MD and was born and raised here. It’s one of the most beautiful areas of the country, as far as I’m concerned. Whether you call this MD, PA or WV makes no difference to me. This is still home.

  35. Jeff Semler says:

    Here in Western Maryland we are all for being sold to a neighbor. The sooner we get out of the Peoples’ Republic of Maryland the better.

  36. Amanda says:

    This whole website is bogus just like this story! This would be breaking news if true! I embrace our bay, ocean and mountains, it is what makes MD so beautiful. I support Western MD as much as our Eastern Shore! The author of this story can kiss my a**!

  37. steven weaver says:

    ThIs is NOT the answer to Maryland’s budget crises. To even consider this move, makes our voices in government absolute, incompetent morons! Find a better way, and that doesn’t mean cutting where they shouldn’t; first responders, teachers, medical industry. This will be a HUGE regret

  38. READY TO LEAVE says:

    I wish it were true. I pay too high of taxes to live where they hardly ever fix the roads, there is no place to work unless you drive at least 30 miles one way, small towns are allowed to close up and be run by one family making their fortune while all around them suffers. But the big one is the both PA and WV think more of their citizens rights and safety than MD does. To hell with your CC permits. My right to bear arms and protect myself and defends my family is the 2nd Amendment of “MY CONSTITUTION”!
    Planning on selling and getting out soon! I voted for Hogan but have seen nothing changed or even trying to be changed for the good of the MD citizens with common sense!

  39. Joe Z says:

    You all want to join WV. Enjoy having a cabin taxed on the same property as your house and enjoy being part of Harrisburg Hub City. You won’t be wonderful being part of West Virginia. You’ll hate the yearly tax on your cars like in West Virginia.

    Of course this is just satire and Western Maryland beyond Hancock lost sense of Humor.

  40. J D says:

    Thats a bunch of bullshit if they sell waskington county to pa or wv because were not like garrett county or allegahny at all and if I wanted to live in either wv or pa I would move to those shitty states but that wont ever happen.

  41. beckner says:

    After the past few years, being considered living in a state other than Maryland may not be a bad idea after all.

  42. Patrick kelley says:

    Who cares the spelling, i live in Allegany county Md, how do they sell a state out from under you, either way it goes it will change my kids schooling, taxes, road conditions and whatever else the two other states lack in, I’ve never even heard of a state selling out for the last 100 years, they should let us form our own state first. ..

  43. Paula says:

    I love living at Deep Creek Lake! how many other places can you live where within 10 minutes I can go skiing in the winter, snowmobiling, white water rafting 7 mths out of the year, ride a mountain coaster, boating in the summer, spend the day on my boat hitting restaurants and bars along the lake, go four wheeling, catch a movie, shop small family businesses, get furniture handmade at very reasonable prices, and basically live in paradise!

    • Jackolyn Solmoon says:

      Would someone please ask The Maryland Comptroller Mr. Franchot and our new Governor Mr. Hogan, what the state of Maryland doe with all the millions of dollars collected on the lottery in this state?? These millions I speak of is a daily thing! We have so many lottery games in the state of Maryland, it’s hard to keep up with all of them but Maryland is always crying poverty. Something smells like fish to me and it’s not the fish we catch in the bay!

  44. Pitney says:

    Shoot. I grew up in Westernport. Guess ya’all will be Yankees now!! LMAO Too Funny!

  45. Karen says:

    I’ve been reading some of the comments and had to laugh at the people who said they were proud Marylanders but root for the Steelers. Last I checked, the Ravens were Maryland’s team!

  46. johnny5903 says:

    Dont sell them just leagalize pot

  47. A.C.Morgan says:

    Ya know, My lineage goes back to the ARK and DOVE in Maryland.. I am a native Washington Countian presently living in exile in WV due to the draconian lawmakers in Annapolis. “THEY” have always thought MD. ended at the top of South Mountain at the County line. “THEY” only came west when they wanted to tax and steal from the residents to give to the inner cities.
    I’ve been saying for years that the 3 western counties of MD. should secede and form a NEW state with the 4 counties of the WV eastern panhandle and perhaps Frederick County ,Va. Call it “SHENANDOAH!”

  48. Hugh Morbipass says:

    This is JUST like The Onion… except The Onion is funny.

  49. I love the idea. The first thing i would do is build a toll plaza on the fred/wash co line a charge anyone east of here $5 to enter and leave. The eastern part of the state is a shithole anyway.

  50. MJ Jones says:

    I want to assure the readers of this article that many Marylanders embrace that fact that we live in this great state. Being “sold” to another state would be absurd and quite frankly I didn’t even think it was possible. I am a notary in Maryland and can’t image how that would “work” if suddenly I worked and live in another state. How would businesses that are incorporated in Maryland be affected? How about individuals that are licensed in this state for one thing or another?
    Gov Larry Hogan, Please don’t speak for all of us. I happen to love crabs, the beach, I do panic when it snows and I don’t like the Steelers!

  51. TonyG. says:

    I am a Western Marylander at heart and always will be. Born, raised and still live in the mountain’s and wouldn’t have it any other way. Western Maryland has long been miss represented in voting and legislation in Maryland as is our votes don’t matter. I’m sorry but I’m very proud of our “Mountain Ways” and heritage that we have that we don’t share with southern Maryland. I would be in huge favor of Western Maryland breaking away from Democratic Maryland and finally have our interests in favor instead of being ignored like we don’t exist!

  52. john says:

    In case you guys missed it:
    MarkBobwartThe Crabwrapper is a satire news organization based in Annapolis, Maryland. The content on here, while often grounded in reality, is generally ridiculous crap that we make up and should be treated as such. While we strive to maintain neutrality in the stories we present on the site, be warned that we don’t really care about neutrality, when it is all said and done. We will try to give disclosure when appropriate.

  53. Loretta DeWitt says:

    No matetr what you all say Maryland is wonderful. That northwest corner is the greatest . Most beautiful place on the planet, Just visit it in the autumn and you will understand . Then go south for the winter.

  54. pappy danny says:

    Who cares how It’s spelled. I surrender to West Virginia

  55. Rich says:

    “…the Intern here at The Crabwrapper. I hear that Maryland apologized for that whole slavery thing–so I have to ask how the hell they can make me bust my ass and not pay me a cent?”

    Hey, if you were a slave you would at least get room, board, and clothing along with the experience. On the other hand you are free to leave he Crabwrapper at your leisure…

  56. HFM says:

    How about we dump , for free, Montgomery and Prince Georges county. Your all suck! Then md will run just fine, besides DC wants State Hood, take them.

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