Saint Patrick’s Day Flops in Maryland This Year

March 19, 2015 | By | Reply More
The Drunken Shamrock, Silver Spring, MD

The Drunken Shamrock, Silver Spring, MD

Traditionally, Saint Patrick’s Day has always been one of the biggest bar nights of the year across the country, attracting millions of revelers, whether Irish or not. And Maryland has been no exception to that trend, until this year when, inexplicably, bars across the state remained largely empty.

“I can’t figure it out, said Matt Murphy, proprietor of The Drunken Shamrock in Silver Spring. “Normally on St. Pat’s you can’t swing a dead cat in here without hitting people who are either fighting or vomiting. Last night, it was as quiet as a church.”

Mary O’Keefe, manager of The Dancing Leprechaun in Ocean City, says this is the worst turnout that she has ever seen in her twenty years in bar management. She ended up sending most of her staff home by 10pm.

“We didn’t even have to sweep or mop up at the end of the night,” said O’Keefe. “I had the staff practicing for weeks to make little shamrocks in the Guinness foam and they didn’t even get the chance. We had two guys ordering Bud Lites all night.”

St. Patrick’s Day Waning in Popularity for the Past Few Years

Almost all drinking establishments contacted for this story reported that not only was it slow for Saint Patrick’s day, it was slow for a Tuesday. But Sean McDuffy, owner of The Broken Nose Saloon in the Little Dublin neighborhood of Baltimore wasn’t too surprised.

“To be honest, St. Paddy’s Day business has been falling off for a long while, now,” said McDuffy. “In fact, I’m surprised it’s held on for as long as it did. The night was always for yahoos and people looking for an excuse to get shitcanned. Actually, the Irish are not particularly big drinkers, anyway, despite the reputation. They like tea a lot, though. We sell a lot of tea here. They drink their tea and go home at a reasonable hour, usually.”

Promotional Event vs. History

Antonio Scuracci, President of the Maryland Chapter of The Sons and Nephews of Ireland agrees. He said that Saint Patrick’s Day has traditionally brought out the worst elements that reinforce negative Irish stereotypes, in regard to drinking and general rowdy behavior. In fact, he says that the holiday, itself, is not only detrimental to the image of Irish-Americans, but a relatively recent invention.

“St. Patrick’s Day was invented by the Chicago chapter of the Ancient Order of Hibernians in 1963 to emulate the ethnic pride that Chicanos received from Cinco De Mayo,” said Scuracci, while eating a plate of eggplant parmesan. “It then took on a life of its own, even spreading to other countries like Canada and New Jersey. In fact, there was never even a real St. Patrick. They made him up, too. He’s as real as Santa Claus.”

Bar owners are now scrambling to come up with a promotional event to replace the lost revenue from St. Patrick’s Day.

“The Irish angle is played out,” lamented, McDuffy. “We are thinking of going with a Polish holiday moving forward. We’re looking into their patron saint, St. Casimir. Or maybe something like Our Lady of Guadeloupe Day. Latin Americans are the next big thing.”

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Category: State of Maryland

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Staff writer. What the hell does that mean? Oh yeah, that's right. I do all the fucking grunt work while Linda, Wanda and Mark take all the credit. Hey, but you know what, that's OK. The checks always clear the bank. But come the day that they don't...let me just say four words.... Mark.Naked.Farm.Animals

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