Maryland Co-Capitals: Annapolis and Ocean City

Annapolis and Ocean City to become Maryland Co-Capitals

Maryland legislators in executive session.

In a shocking announcement, Senate President Mike Miller announced that Annapolis and Ocean City would soon become Maryland Co-Capitals. For the first time in this nation’s history, a state will have co-capitals, rather than a single center of governmental operations, as has been tradition for almost 240 years. In less than two months, Maryland will have co-capitals …Annapolis and Ocean City.  That was the announcement on Maryland Senate President, Mike Miller’s Facebook page yesterday.

Maryland Co-Capitals

“I am proud to announce that beginning in the summer of 2015, Ocean City will join Annapolis to become the Maryland co-capital,” read the post, which included several smily-face emoticons. “The state of Maryland is too awesome to be served by just one capital city. And as soon as we figure out the legislative process as to how to do it, it’s a done deal.”

Annapolis, a city of 39,000 and the seat of Anne Arundel County, has been the capital of Maryland since 1708, and was briefly the capital of the United States following the Revolutionary War. Ocean City, located in Worcester County, has a year-round population of 7,200 that swells to 340,000 on weekends during the summer, making it the second-largest city in the state behind Baltimore. During those summer weekend, reports of drunkenness, rowdiness, and generally debauchery skyrocket. Naturally, that makes the move to Ocean City attractive to lawmakers.

Reason For Move

“Annapolis just isn’t cutting it anymore. With just a couple of steakhouses and a quiet bar on State Circle, there just isn’t enough to do in this little town,” said one lobbyist who asked not to be identified, as he did not want to jeopardize his job at an unnamed electric company based in Baltimore. “Maryland legislators have let the lobbying community know, in no uncertain terms, that, in this pay-to-play environment, entertainment options had better start getting bigger and better. Otherwise, they have implied that they would start to vote for what their constituents actually want. And, frankly, we can’t risk that. After all, electricity rate increases don’t magically happen on their own.”

Annapolis Reacts

Annapolis city leaders, residents, and business owners were shocked at the news of sharing the designation of state capital and becoming a Maryland co-capital, and finger pointing started almost immediately after the announcement. Some elected officials felt that the city’s image bore some of the blame.

“I’ve been warning my fellow aldermen for years that if we didn’t lose our reputation for being uptight, this could happen,” said Fred Paone (R-Ward 2). “All the state lawmakers I’ve spoken with have expressed a keen interest in gentlemen’s clubs and bars that serve orange crushes in plastic cups served by scantily-clad waitresses. We don’t have any of those things here. We have t-shirt shops and an empty Market House. Whoopee. These guys want to have fun. That’s the whole point of running for public office.”

The proposed plan for the Maryland co-capitals is to split the legislative sessions between winters in Annapolis and summers in Ocean City, with the summer agenda composed of less weighty issues. There are massive logistical issues involved in determining where sessions will be held in the new co-capital, with legislative and governmental staff required to relocate over the summer, and where offices and lodging will be procured. Ocean City Mayor, Rick Meehan, is not concerned by the challenge, however.

“Don’t worry about it. You guys worry too much,” he said, pausing to take a sip of a Fuzzy Navel. “If you need somewhere to crash, just hook up with someone for the night, sleep in your car, or just crash on the beach. If you’re really hard up, we’ll send our cops to roust some kids from Rockville and toss them out of their beach week flophouse. We do that all the time. We get a cut of the security deposit from the landlord, anyway. It’s the Ocean City Way.”

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Category: State of Maryland

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I am the Assoc. Editor for The Crabwrapper--please do not leave off the "oc" because I will totally go postal on you. Women are NOT to be objectified! Basically, my job is to try to prevent shit from getting up the chain to my boss Mark. Oh, and I do write some stuff too!

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