Rangers Defeat Capitals in Overtime…Marylanders Mystified

Rangers Defeat CapitalsRangers defeat Capitals in OT!

The New York Rangers rallied during overtime last night to defeat the Washington Capitals 2-1 during Game 7 of the Eastern Conference semifinals Wednesday at Madison Square Garden. The Rangers advance to the conference finals against the Tampa Bay Lightning. While Ranger fans, who have not seen a Stanley Cup victory since 1994, were ecstatic; Capital fans remained nonplussed at the Rangers defeat of the Capitals.

Capital Fan Reaction

“I thought hockey was played in winter,” said Tyrese Levander, a UPS driver from Oxen Hill, Maryland. “It was like ninety-two degrees the other day. I was sweating my balls off. How you going to keep ice from melting when you sweating your balls off? It don’t make no sense.”

Rangers fans, on the other hand, were galvanized by the win and the potential for a shot at the Stanley Cup for the first time in more than twenty years.

Ranger Fan Reaction

“Tonight was awesome,” said Kyle Anderson, an assistant-warehouse supervisor from Utica, New York. “Although Derek Stephan clinched the deal, you have to give it to Lundqvist. As a goalie, he is unstoppable. I don’t know anyone else with the reflexes and natural instincts that he possesses. Not to take away from the Caps or Ovechkin, but he is an impressive defensive commander. And that is what wins games.”

D’ondre Lewis, an independent businessman from District Heights, Maryland, had a different perspective on the hockey games than did most Ranger fans.

“We got a hockey team?” asked Lewis, with a certain level of amazement. “That’s like soccer with sticks, ice, and shit, right? They win or what?”

The Rangers will face the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference final on Saturday while Marylanders nurse their wounds.

“I’m disappointed,” lamented Marcus Williams, an aspiring concert promoter from Hyattsville, Maryland. “I mean, I don’t follow hockey and whatnot, but it’d be cool if they won and all. All I have left now is the NBA playoffs.”

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Category: State of Maryland

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Staff writer. What the hell does that mean? Oh yeah, that's right. I do all the fucking grunt work while Linda, Wanda and Mark take all the credit. Hey, but you know what, that's OK. The checks always clear the bank. But come the day that they don't...let me just say four words.... Mark.Naked.Farm.Animals

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